Title: Ellison, Bird of Pray

Author: Patt

Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com

Rating: NC-17

Pairings: J/B Pre-slash

Status: Complete

Date: 05/09/03

Category: Drama/Humor

Author's website:

http://patt_rose0.tripod.com/dreamingofsentinels/

 

Disclaimer: The boys don't belong to us. I wish they did, but they
don't. But if they ever do, I'll share. In the meantime, I'll put
them back when I'm done.  (I'm a big fat liar; I would never share.)

 

 

Author's Notes: I lost my mind one night and said, “Self, why not write a story about birds with penises.  Wouldn’t that be a hoot?”

 

Summary: Jim has a fever and thinks he’s really seeing and hearing birds.  The birds have beautiful penises.  Read it, it’s fun. 

 

Warnings: m/m 

YAY! This one has nudity.  <g>  Too bad they’re birds. 

Silliness abounds. 

 

 

Ellison, Bird of Pray

Patt

 

Jim prayed he wouldn’t have another one of those stupid dreams tonight.  They were beginning to upset him something fierce. 

 

Jim thought he was still awake, but he was snoozing.  A large owl walked up to the side of the bed.  “Why are you here,” Jim asked the owl. 

 

“I don’t know, you must want me here.  Do you want to ask me a question?” the owl asked. 

 

“No, I don’t think so,” Jim sighed. 

 

“Do you want to feel how soft my feathers are?” the owl moved closer to the bed. 

 

Jim reached out and petted the soft feathers.  “It’s very soft, owl.  A very nice set of feathers,” Jim continued to stroke the owl. 

 

Before long Jim saw something sliding out of the owl and he wondered what it was.  // Oh fuck; it’s a penis.   What is a human penis doing on an owl?  Sick, Ellison. //

 

Jim looked up and noticed the owl had nice eyes.  Bright blue eyes, wearing glasses to boot.  “Go ahead, Jim, rub my feathers,” the owl said in a husky voice.

 

 Jim continued to stroke the feathers and watched as the penis grew in great dimensions. “Owl, why do you want me to rub you?”

 

“Because you want to.  I could see that you wanted to rub me,” the owl said moving even closer. 

 

Jim still didn’t move away and rubbed the owl some more and the penis was in full view now.  It was a nice penis, of a very respectable size.  “Jim, you want to touch my penis now?”

 

“No I don’t.” Jim replied quickly although he was still looking at the damn thing. 

 

“Jim, I know what you’re really thinking.  You want to touch it.  You want to feel it.  So reach out and make yourself feel good,” the owl told him. 

 

Jim reached out and touched the penis and realized it didn’t feel that much different than his own.  He noticed the owl was starting to breathe hard, so Jim stopped and said, “Are you all right, owl?”

 

“Not if you don’t keep touching it,” owl answered and Jim went back to stroking the owl’s penis. 

 

“Jim you’re doing a very good job and anyone would love this done to them,” owl said as he suddenly made an odd noise and came all over Jim’s hand. 

 

“Gross, you could have warned me owl,” Jim complained.

 

Jim yelled in his dream, but didn’t know Blair could hear him downstairs, “That’s one nice damn pecker.  Thank you.”

 

Blair lay in bed and wondered why Jim had hopped that damn fence and left him behind. 

 

Each night, Jim would dream of a different bird coming to visit him.  This night, he was treated to a Canary.  He looked up and saw that the Canary looked a lot like Blair.  If he had feathers and a beak. 

 

“What do you want?” Jim asked wearily. 

 

I want you to feel good and you know that you can feel good if you want to.  Jim started to pet the canary and watched a penis come out of the feathers.  Jim didn’t quite understand why the birds had a human penis.  Actually it was the same human penis each time.  The canary said, I think tonight you want to taste it.  Am I right?”

 

Jim didn’t answer, instead he just opened his mouth and the canary, who was very tall for a bird, walked over to where Jim’s head was and Jim began to suck on the pecker.  The canary made a very large noise and came down Jim’s throat. 

 

“You did that well Jim. I told you that you wanted to suck my pecker.  Didn’t I?  You want to do it again?” the canary’s penis was hard once again. 

 

“I don’t think so, Canary.  That was a little weird for me,” Jim answered. 

 

“If you roll over I could put that pecker inside of you,” the canary looked at Jim seriously. 

 

“Maybe another night, canary,” and Jim rolled over on his belly and went to sleep, but not without saying, “Thanks for letting me give you a blow job.”

 

Again, Blair woke up to this and thought maybe Jim was leading a double life.  He knew damn well that his Jim Ellison wasn’t giving blowjobs anywhere. 

 

Jim looked around his bedroom and was very surprised it looked like a jungle setting.  Bright and beautiful.  A good sized Parrot walked up to the bed and said, “I bet I know what you want.”

 

“How would you know what I want?” Jim asked eying that big bird. 

 

“The look on your face tells me that you want me to lick and suck your dick,” Parrot said in an odd parrot voice. 

 

“It’s hard to get turned on when you talk like a parrot.  Sorry about that, but you’re just not doing it for me,” Jim was trying to let him down easy. 

 

“Could you at least stroke my feathers, it makes me feel good,” Parrot asked. 

 

“Sure, why not,” Jim started stroking the parrot and before long, the parrot penis was growing out of the feathers.  Jim’s penis also began to grow.  While Jim continued to rub the parrot, the parrot brought his beak down and started to suck on Jim’s dick.

 

Blair could hear Jim from down in his bedroom and he wondered why he hadn’t noticed this stuff before.  Jim was saying, “God, you suck cock so good.  I love the feel of your cock,” and then Jim made a noise that Blair imagined was him coming. 

 

“Was it good for you, human?” parrot asked. 

 

“Oh yeah, it was.  Was it good for you?” Jim asked parrot. 

 

“It was fantastic.  Thank you now I have to get back to the jungle.  Say hello to Hawky tomorrow night,” parrot said with a smile.

 

“You mean, Hockey?”

 

“No, I mean, Hawky, as in a Hawk.  He’s coming tomorrow night and he has the nicest penis you’ll ever see,” parrot left the room. 

 

“Shit… Shit… Shit… I need to talk to Blair.  I don’t want no damn hawk doing things to me,” Jim said to himself. 

 

“Chief, are you awake?”

 

Jim heard him come up the stairs and he got to the top and said, “Can I help with something?”

 

“You don’t ever talk like a parrot do you?” Jim asked very seriously. 

 

“Not that I know of.  What’s going on, Jim?” Blair sat on the edge of the bed and tried to help.

 

Have you ever had a canary?”

 

“No,” Blair replied. 

 

“And how about an Owl?” Jim asked quickly. 

 

“Jim, you’re not allowed to keep owls.  You know that,” Blair was getting irritated. 

 

“Well fuck.  Blair, have you ever owned any feathered pets?”

 

 “Nope, sure haven’t.  I had a dog or two, but that was it.” Blair was getting more curious by the moment. 

 

“Chief, have you ever wanted to look at a penis?”

 

“Jim, I look at a penis every day,” Blair smiled. 

 

“No, I mean another penis.  I seem to want to look at their penis’s lately,” Jim said head hanging. 

 

“Whose penises?”

 

“Owl, Canary and Parrot.  They all have very nice penises and I liked touching them and having them touch mine.  I think I’m perverted. Jesus, I’ve gone my whole life without wanting Dick, and I get to this age and I want it so bad that I take it from Birds.  How sick is that, Sandburg?”

 

“Well while we’re on the subject, what do their penis’s look like?” Blair asked trying not to laugh his ass off. 

 

“Let me see yours and I’ll tell you if theirs looked like yours,” Jim sat up and waited for the unveiling. 

 

“You expect me to drop my drawers so that you can compare me to a bunch of fucking birds,” Blair did laugh this time. 

 

“Well it’s no big deal because parrot told me that Hawky is coming tomorrow and his penis was the nicest,” Jim had that ‘so there’ look on his face. 

 

“What has Hockey got to do with birds?”

 

“Not Hockey, you moron.  Hawky,” Jim acted like he was talking to a child. 

 

“As in a Hawk?” Blair asked.

 

“DUH, what did you think I meant.  Anyhow, I’m anxious to see his penis,” Jim said calmly. 

 

“Jim, did it ever occur to you that you might need or want something else?” Blair asked. 

 

“Like what?  Well you know, maybe I need a pet and this is my way of helping me decide,” Jim smiled at the thought. 

 

“Ellison, get a grip.  If you bought a canary, were you planning on fucking it?” Blair growled. 

 

“You don’t have to be so crude.  Of course I wasn’t,” Jim answered. 

 

“Well that’s what your doing in the dreams,” Blair reminded him. 

 

“But they’re doing the work, mostly.  Except for when Hawky comes.  Parrot made it sound like I was going to have my hands full with him,” Jim was starting to get a little sleepy. “I need to rest, Chief.  Talk to you tomorrow.”

 

Jim prayed that he would have a dreamless sleep and wake up in the morning without coming in his pants again. 

 

Blair just stayed on the bed next to Jim waiting for his dream to come.

 

“Did parrot tell you I’d be coming?” Hawky asked?

 

“Yeah, he told me, but I don’t want to do anything,” Jim stated up front. 

 

“Look at my penis Jim.  Wouldn’t you like to have that penis up your ass?” Hawky asked.

 

“I’ve never had a penis up my ass and I want it to be Blair,” Jim said moving away from Hawky. 

 

“Blair doesn’t want it Jim.  You know you want to feel this up your ass,” Hawky flipped Jim over on his stomach and held him down.

 

A very distressed Jim, said, “Let me up or I’ll scream for Blair.”

 

“Oh like he scares us.  We all know about your feelings for him.  But if you tell him, he’ll move out, just like that.”

 

“He’s my friend, he wouldn’t leave me,” Jim tried to argue. 

 

“Now Jimmy boy, you hold still while I put my penis inside you,” Hawky said casually. 

 

“Blair. Blair. Blair…” Jim screamed out.

 

“Jim, wake up, come on.  Wake up for me.” Blair begged. 

 

“Hawky said that you’d leave me if I told you what I wanted you to do,” Jim finally was able to say. 

 

“What was Hawky doing to you, Jim?” Blair wanted to know why his partner flipped over like someone had lifted him in the air. 

 

“He flipped me over and told me he was going to put his penis in my ass.  I told him I wanted you to do that, not him.  He said I was a wuss and that you didn’t scare him in the least,” Jim was getting very agitated. 

 

Blair rubbed Jim’s forehead and Jim fell asleep.  “You back for more, Jimmy boy?”

 

“No, Blair told me I don’t have to do this,” Jim was getting upset again. 

 

“Feel my feathers Jim.  Feel how soft they are,” Hawky was standing close to the bed. 

 

Jim rubbed his feathers and sure enough a huge penis came out of the feathers.  “Your penis is way bigger than the other ones.  Why?”

 

“Because Jimmy, my body knows what you want and need.  You know you want to get fucked.  And you know that your roommate isn’t going to be the one that does it,” Hawky snarled. 

 

Jim felt something rubbing on his penis and he could see it growing and it scared him, “What are you doing, Hawky?”

 

“I’m not doing anything.  I’m not the one that’s doing that. Now roll over so I can do you,” Hawky tried to roll him over, but something kept him on his back. 

 

Jim then felt kisses going up and down his body.  He looked over and saw that Hawky was gone. 

 

He opened his eyes and realized he had woken from a dream.  Blair was kissing his neck, chest, stomach and his cock.  As Blair took him into his mouth, Jim looked around and saw the birds all watching. 

 

“We can’t wait to see his penis.  We want to see if he does a good job or if we’ll have to come back,” Hawky said. 

 

“Good job, good job, good job…” Jim chanted for the birds sake. 

 

Blair pulled his mouth off Jim and said, “I’m glad you approve.”

 

Blair went back to sucking and Jim came in his mouth.  He laid there just relaxing and watched Blair take his clothing off. When Blair got down to his boxers, the young man pulled them down and stood up. 

 

“Holy shit, look at that penis,” Owl said in awe. 

 

“I second that,” Canary said.

 

“He’s huge,” said parrot.

 

“Oh he’s not that big,” Hawky said in a fit of jealousy.

 

“Well how would you like him to fuck your ass?” Jim asked. 

 

“Jim, who are you talking to?” Blair was looking around wondering what he was missing. 

 

“No one important,” Jim smiled at him and asked, “you going to fuck me now?”

 

“Yup,” Blair did exactly what he said he was going to do.  The birds only thought Blair was large.  He wasn’t hard when they saw him.  Now they were all envious. 

 

Owl walked up to the side of the bed and said, “So does he fuck well, with that large penis?”

 

“Oh yeah,” Jim moaned. 

 

Parrot walked up and asked, “How does it feel?”

 

“Feels like I’m in heaven,” Jim moaned again. 

 

Canary came up and said, “So you and I will never be anything?”

 

“OH god.  No sorry,” Jim answered Canary.

 

“What are you sorry for Jim?” Blair asked.

 

“Fuck me Blair,” Jim chanted and Blair said, “I am, I am.”

 

Hawky came up and smacked Jim upside the head and said, “Do you honestly think this will work.  He’s not making love; he’s fucking.  He could care less about you.”

 

“That is so not true,” Jim whispered into Hawky’s ear. 

 

“What do you think about giving me a hand job here?” Hawky asked. 

 

“I’m busy,”

 

“Well, you won’t be soon, right?” Hawky asked, as if he didn’t know for certain. 

 

// Well shit, Hawky must be a virgin.  Now that makes me feel bad.  I might help him out later. //

 

Jim felt Blair come in his ass and pull out and go downstairs.  // Fuck… The damn bird was right.  He doesn’t love me.  He doesn’t need me.  And he won’t be fucking me again. //

 

All of the birds gathered around him and tried to calm their distressed new friend.  Hawky wanted to have sex, but didn’t feel good about having it with him when he was down and out. 

 

“I don’t feel right,” Jim whimpered. 

 

“You don’t look right,” Owl said. 

 

“You look mighty bad, we might have to go down and get the shit-head human for you,” Canary grumbled.

 

“Oh god, don’t call him a shit-head human.  He’s my best friend.  I’m in love with him too,” Jim was getting downright pathetic. 

 

Simon walked up the stairs with Blair and saw the very sick Sentinel lying there on the bed.  “How do you want to work this, Sandburg?”

 

“I don’t want to scare you, but there is this huge brown man leaning over your bed,” Hawky said into Jim’s ear. 

 

“Probably Simon,” Jim explained to them. 

 

“What do you mean, probably Simon?  It’s me Jim.  Don’t you know me?” Simon asked as he helped get the man up to take him to the hospital. 

 

Simon and Blair got him to the hospital and they had to do Emergency Surgery on his Appendicitis. It was about to burst. 

 

The Doctor told Blair that he would be out for about another twelve hours.  So Blair and Simon went down to the coffee shop to get something to eat and relax. 

 

“Jim, wake up,” Hawky said loudly. 

 

“What?”

 

“That little stud muffin of yours was chasing a nurse just a few minutes ago,” Hawky took great pleasure in breaking Jim’s heart. 

 

“You’re just saying that,” Jim groaned in pain, “why do I hurt?”

 

“We’re birds, Jim.  We don’t know those things,” parrot said.

 

“You seem to know everything else,” Jim reminded them. 

 

“Well sure, if it’s about Penis’s or fucking.  Then we know a lot,” Canary said. 

 

“Owl, could you go and find Blair and bring him to me?” Jim pleaded. 

 

“He left with that Brown man.  They were hugging and kissing,” Owl said. 

 

“Blair and Simon? OH god, I can’t believe it,” Jim had tears running down his face. 

 

“Now’s not the time to feel sorry for yourself, Jim.  Let us help you,” Hawky was all sugar and spice. 

 

“What are you going to do that would help me in any way?” Jim wondered aloud. 

 

“We’ll fuck you and make him sorry.  He’ll wish he hadn’t taken you for granted,” parrot offered. 

 

“I don’t want to do that now.  I’m in pain and I’m hurt,” Jim cried. 

 

“We’ll just sit here with you then, Jim.  We’re you’re friends and we love you,” Canary said. 

 

“I’m starting to feel weird,” Jim said.    

 

The next thing Jim knew he was awake and Simon and Blair were sitting there looking at him.  He wouldn’t look at them. I mean, he was pissed, right?

 

“Jim, man you scared the shit out of us.  You had a ruptured appendix. Man your fever was sky high,” Blair was explaining but noticed that Jim wasn’t really listening. 

 

“So did you two have fun last night?” Jim said snottily.

 

“Yeah, it was nice to get out and get away for a little while.  And Sandburg was wild,” Simon said.

 

“Chief, did it mean nothing to you?” Jim was now sorrowful. 

 

“What are you talking about, Jim?”

 

“You fucking me.  You said you liked it and now you just blow me off for Simon?” Jim spat out. 

 

“Wait a minute.  Time out.  Sandburg and I only had dinner and coffee last night.  That’s it,” Simon used a stern tone. 

 

“Swear?” Jim said pitifully. 

 

“Swear, Jim.  I wouldn’t do that to you,” Simon looked over at Blair and tried to gauge that look.

 

“I’m sorry Chief,” Jim whispered. 

 

“Well that’s great, but I’ve never fucked you, Jim,” Blair was trying to keep calm. 

 

Simon spit his coffee across the room as he was taking a drink.  “You haven’t?”

 

“You thought we were sleeping together,” Blair demanded to know. 

 

“I think we all did,” Simon replied. 

 

“Blair, you did fuck me and then just left me laying there for the birds to look at,” Jim grumbled. 

 

“Jim, do you realize how dumb that sounds?” Blair asked. 

 

“Well it’s true.  You fucked me and left me upstairs alone,” Jim started to cry. 

 

“Ellison stop that crying. What if someone came in the room?” Simon stood in front of the door.

 

“Who gives a rats ass, I’m going to end up with fucking bird,” Jim cried out like his heart was broken. 

 

“Simon, could I please talk with him alone?”

 

“You got it, I’ll stand guard out there in case the birds come,” Simon rolled his eyes and walked out the door. 

 

“That was nice of him.  They will come for me, because they said you don’t want me,” Jim started to wail again. 

 

“Jim, listen to me.  Do you love me?”

 

“You know I do,” Jim smiled at him. 

 

“And do I love you?” Blair asked sweetly. 

 

“I thought you did,”

 

“I do, Jim.  I do.” Blair leaned over and kissed Jim very sweetly. 

 

“You’ve never kissed me that way,” Jim concluded. 

 

“Jim, I’ve never kissed you before.  You had a super high fever and were delirious,” Blair ranted. 

 

“So there is no owl?”

 

“Well not the one you were talking to,” Blair said. 

 

“That’s too bad, cuz he had a really nice penis,”

 

“Jim, they don’t have penis’s.  Well, not like ours anyway,” Blair looked to see if Jim was listening. 

 

“Do you know that for a fact?  Have you ever rubbed an owls feathers and watched the penis come out?”

 

“Okay, Jim, let me say this one more time.  They were a dream. End of story,” Blair didn’t leave any room for discussion. 

 

He sat next to Jim’s bed and held his hand and kissed it over and over again.  Jim thought this might be almost as good as sex. 

 

“Jim wake up,” Parrot called out. 

 

“Hey Parrot,”

 

“WE have to leave, but wanted to say goodbye.  Have fun with your roomie,” Parrot walked out the door. 

 

“I’m going to miss you big guy,” Canary said as he walked out the door. 

 

“Be good to him, Jim,” Owl said as he left. 

 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to fuck you before I leave?” Hawky asked evilly. 

 

“Yeah, I’m sure.  I love him so much. Goodbye.  Thanks for being here when I needed you,” Jim said.

 

Little did Jim know that he was saying everything out loud so Blair knew that the damn birds had left at last. 

 

The doctor came in and told Jim, “Detective Ellison, you’ll be able to go back to work in about four weeks.  After you see me I’ll give you your paperwork.”

 

“How about sex?” Jim perked up and bounced on the bed. 

 

“Sorry to say about three weeks.  When you feel like it.  You’ll know when it’s time,” Doctor Martins said. 

 

As soon as the doctor left Jim curled into a ball and started wailing. 

 

“Jim, what is wrong with you?  You get to go home, isn’t that what you want?”

 

“Yeah, but I wanted your cock up my ass and if I can’t have sex, I know damn well that Hawky will be back.  He’s a pushy little bastard.  And I don’t want his cock up my ass.  I want yours,” Jim finally winded down. 

 

“Jim, if it doesn’t hurt you I’ll fuck you tonight.  How’s that?” Blair offered. 

 

“Can we leave now?”

 

“We sure can.  And those birds are not allowed in the loft again, understood?” Blair glared at his love. 

 

“Understood.  I love you, Blair,” Jim said so soft Blair hardly heard him. 

 

“I love you back, now let’s get this show on the road,” Blair helped him get ready to go and they could start their new lives. 

 

 

End Ellison, Bird of Pray